A core message I wish to share via my work as a body focussed psychologist is that there are many ways in which we can benefit our wellbeing and accelerate healing via connecting and listening to the innate wisdom of our bodies.
We can do this via breathwork, meditation, movement, rest and sleep, touch or via exploring pain and tension. But one of the most simple, enlightening, and beneficial ways I have found to connect to my body and my “whole self”, is through my menstrual cycle.
If you, like me, grew up thinking that having a period was the only part of the menstrual cycle worth knowing about, and perhaps, that bleeding every month was a massive pain and inconvenience – you potentially have a lot to learn and so much richness to open up to! In this article I offer a brief introduction to some of the gifts that await and I share some great references at the end if you are excited to learn more.
The Basics
- A menstrual cycle is somewhere between 24 – 30 days long.
- The period (bleed) part is in fact often less than a quarter of the whole cycle.
- Day 1 is the first day of your period.
- Most periods last somewhere between 3 and 8 days.
- Women complete an average of 480 cycles in their fertile years (age 12ish – 50ish)
- Perhaps the two key moments in the cycle are yes: the day we bleed, or menstruation, when we are releasing an egg which hasn’t been fertilised, and the opposite point: ovulation, somewhere around day 14.
*** all cycles are individual so if your timings, lengths and experiences vary from these – don’t assume you are wrong or broken. Take it as an invitation to be curious. Talk to someone you trust if you’re concerned, or listen into to your incredible body for the wisdom it holds.
A majority of my learning on this topic has been via the incredible teachings and trainings of redschool.net. Red School helpfully break the cycle into four seasons and offer a broad idea of the tasks or energies during each part of the cycle, the gifts available to us if we move and work with these natural tendencies, and an incredibly helpful and normalising perspective on what can occur when we do not or cannot honour our needs at these times.
Winter (day 1 – 5)
Menstruation is the engine room of your power. A natural de-stress time when you surrender all the stuff of the world you have been carrying, have your jangled nerve endings soothed, and reconnect to your core
The bleed, or “the period” is a time when we are generally most in need of rest and reflection. Just like all other aspects of nature during the winter season, the body calls for quiet contemplation, intimate connection and time to detach from the shining outward energies of summer, and look inward. This part of the cycle can be a great time to eat well, nourish, rest, soothe and be still. It can be an incredible time for self-reflection and compassionate analysis of the month gone by.
Spring (days 6 – 12)
It’s as if you wake up to yourself… and with that your instinct to connect with others is turned on
At this point in the cycle, we are naturally becoming more sociable and motivated. This is a time when I will find myself making friends and connecting outward, listening to podcasts with obsessive interest or heavily underlining sentences in books! Spring is a time for planting seeds, planning, skipping around and being playful. These energies compare beautifully with the late childhood years of activity without responsibility, of trying things for the first time, making mistakes and learning.
Summer (days 12 – 19)
Sink your teeth into creative projects and get shit done
So here we are, at ovulation. This point in the cycle can feel pretty ecstatic. For obvious biological reasons, you can feel more attractive, sensual and energised. For me, here, mothering is easier. I have patience, energy and confidence to give generously to others and I can stay up late. It’s a time to create, drive, be seen, and feel pleasure. To some extent, my experience is that the way a woman naturally feels during this part of the cycle is the way society expects her to be all the time.
Autumn (days 20 – 26)
your energy is lower and you may feel under-resourced, tired or insecure
Because what goes up, must come down. And here is a time in the cycle (often overlooked or misunderstood) where your body asks you to put the breaks on. The person you were at peak energy is not sustainable and now is the time to pull her in, allow her to pause, finish her tasks for this month, and begin to turn away from external demands, and back towards tending to herself and her own needs. This might be a time to step-up boundaries to protect your reserves.
And here you see, just as the seasons of the earth, every month we return to the magic rest and reflective time of inner winter – menstruation – the end and beginning of another cycle.
So how is this relevant to mental health?
In the mainstream narrative, the obvious connection to mental health is made in the premenstrual period, before we bleed. Take a moment to explore the narrative you have been exposed to around what it’s like to be (or be with) a pre-menstrual woman… likely it won’t be long till you stumble across references to anger, irritability, depression, impatience and irrational behaviour. Maybe this is even your experience? I know it is sometimes mine. Taken on face value, its perhaps easy to see how the bleeding woman has been denigrated and shamed. But if we hold in mind this cyclical understanding we open to the possibility that:
- These stereotypes of menstruating women have had a complex and harmful impact throughout history and are shaped by patriarchal and capitalist expectations such as that women should show up consistently and quietly.
- When women do suffer physically, emotionally or spiritually, as our 5th vital sign, and one of the most important and natural processes known to woman: often the menstrual cycle can provide critical insights into what might be needed to heal.
While there are very obvious and enormous barriers to tending to these body needs in Western society, with conscious attention, I have come to find small ways to live more cyclically (sometimes called “cycle syncing”) with great benefit on my wellbeing. For example, by sleeping earlier, taking longer baths, saying no to social activities or avoiding alcohol and social media around my bleed, I get to access the rest I need before my body screams for it with impatient desperation. This leaves me rejuvenated to step more authentically into socialising, speaking, advertising myself and even cleaning (!) in alignment around my ovulatory time. And this in turn throws up far fewer barriers in terms of imposter syndrome, anxiety and feelings of misalignment and inauthenticity. Menstrual cycle awareness has gifted me and so many women I have learned from and with, a great opportunity for deep connection to the self and a level of peace I hadn’t previously known.
And all this – lies there within you, undiscovered and waiting to be witnessed, for free, always, if you choose to lean towards your body with compassion and curiosity for all the wisdom it holds.
Great places to read more:
https://podcawww.redschool.netsts.apple.com/gb/podcast/the-wild-power-series/id1202241867
Pope, A and Hugo Wurlitzer, S. 2017, Wild Power. Discover the Magic of your Menstrual Cycle and Awaken the Feminine Path to Power. Hay House.
Lara Owen, 2008. Her Blood is Gold. Awakening to the Wisdom of Menstruation. Archive Publishing.
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