A simple, methodical way to check in with yourself

Most of us ask and answer the question “how are you?” several times each day, but how often do you really give yourself the space to find the deeper answer?

The idea can actually be a bit abstract and mystical.

Here are 5 simple steps which might allow you to gently and gradually notice how you really are in any given moment.

Hopefully they will help you to notice when you feel present, grounded and regulated.

But they might also bring your attention to the fact that you are sometimes dysregulated: activated, and overwhelmed or shut off and disconnected. If that’s the case, I invite you to notice that. Then perhaps you can also explore some ways to soothe your system or awaken it into action in response to those experiences.

  • BODY – Direct your attention, starting at the top of your head and let it scan slowly down through your body. Follow it, picking up any noticeable sensations, pain, areas of tension or release until you reach your toes. Whats here in my body in this moment?
  • THINKING – What does your mind say right now? Imagine writing your thoughts down to tease out the threads. Try to make these observations without judgement.
  • EMOTIONS – Explore the way you feel. How do you know you feel that way? Notice everything you can about the feeling. Name it.
  • BREATH – Follow 5 breaths. Don’t try to change anything about your breathing, just notice it as fully as you can. You might observe it as if you are an alien who has never encountered breathing before. What is the quality of your breath in this moment?
  • ENERGY – Notice the quality of your energy. Is it fizzy and urgent or heavy and slow? Somewhere in between? How does that fit what you’re doing right now?

These five steps might help you to deepen into your current experience. Do they help you to feel grounded and regulated?

It’s possible that they might also bring your attention to the fact that you are sometimes dysregulated: activated, and overwhelmed or shut off and disconnected. If that’s the case, I invite you to notice that. Then perhaps you can also explore some ways to soothe your system or awaken it into action in response to those experiences.

If one step in particular feels uncomfortable or painful and overwhelming, give yourself permission to try it another time, perhaps while you’re with someone you feel safe with, or skip it altogether. These exercises are intended to be exploratory and gentle, and are by no means a one size fits all.