I vividly remember a conversation with my Mum at a really early age about something I didn’t understand in school, and she encouraged me to ask more questions “If you don’t get it, it’s likely that others won’t too”.

As anyone who has studied with me will know, I took that really literally. I have never minded being the bold one in class asking all the questions. #sorrynotsorry to my psychologist training buddies for how annoying that must have been 😬

But there was one question I was never quite brave enough to ask out loud although it was always on my mind.

When sense-making is such a key part of our role as psychologists, what if you just can’t make sense of something with someone?

What if someone’s presentation or problem just doesn’t make sense?

Well I only wish I could go back to my former self back there on the front row and fill her in on a couple of things I know now, in my bones.

People ALWAYS make sense.

It feels like a pretty bold statement but it’s actually simple to make now that I know it to be true.

But it’s not in the way I might have expected. It’s not always about “digging” for “the trauma” or understanding which attachments were insecure. Not all stories are told in words. Sometimes it’s about using what you know and leaning into someone’s experience. It’s feeling someone in the room. Experiencing their energy and using your skills to connect up, allowing them to come back to regulation via your grounded state, then untangling how they got there, and why they took that route. It’s in the intersubjective space which often is spoken in a language other than your first.

This is the beginnings of how we can use our the nervous systems to inform your therapy experience. Follow the blog over the summer to learn more, or book a 90 minute assessment to feel it for yourself.