What if what underlies these distressing experiences was less often understood as a mental illness, and more often recognised as an adaptive response to adversity, social inequality and the associated stress and trauma?
When we run, dance, hug or laugh we send a very simple and clear message through our whole system: not only am I safe in this moment, I am thriving. The system rewards us by increasing our capacity to engage, share, learn and love.
We can learn to send the same messages through the system in any moment via our breath.
My favorite definition of Embodiment comes from Hillary McBride, in The Wisdom of your Body, who describes it as:
the experience of being a body in a social context
Dr Hillary McBride
It can be helpful to know that your reactions, behaviour, emotional responses and thought patterns in any moment will likely occur much faster than you can control with any positive thinking or snazzy distraction technique. Its really helpful to have strategies available, but the truth is, your experience is determined much less via conscious choice and much more by your early experience and the way your nervous system learned to respond to the world.
We rely on our senses to pick up on cues of danger or safety in our environment. Much of this happens out of our conscious awareness. A smell, even if it’s fleeting or faint, can quickly whip us far away from the present moment into a thousand different places, stories created from memories of long ago. Sometimes these places are kind, familiar, warm and safe. Sometimes less so.
There is lots of information and discussion out there about mindfulness and the impact that learning to be more present and in the moment, has on our health.
In psychology, and particularly attachment theory, the concept of “good enough” refers to a parent who best serves their developing child by being “enough” rather than perfect. I love this. While a child needs an attentive and loving parent, they also benefit from seeing the reality of life, the struggles, emotions and challenges in manageable amounts.
The main interest of your autonomic nervous system (ANS) is your safety.
If you are ever anxious, frightened, sad, unsettled, overwhelmed or angry, but logically can’t make sense why, you might feel frustrated or betrayed by your body and mind… like they’re conspiring against you to make life hard.