The Struggle Switch

Ideas from Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT)

Sometimes when we are suffering with big and distressing feelings, we are further exhausted by the hopelessness that comes with having already tried everything in our power to change our situation, and end up feeling defeated.

Often many of these attempts have been with the hope that we will “get rid” of these crappy feelings once and for all if only we find the “right” solution.

In psychological therapy, we often liken this logical approach to feelings, to challenging your brain NOT to think of a pink elephant. No matter how hard you try, that big round pink blighter is almost impossible to avoid – in fact, the harder we try, the more pronounced and static the image becomes, right?

This is one of the key tenants of Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT) which at its core, understands this totally human attempt, but teaches the value of developing WILLINGNESS to have feelings, as an alternative to fighting against them – recognising that the fight only takes us further towards pain.

While it sounds kind of simple, it’s actually a radically different approach to emotions, and inevitably comes with challenges in the early stages. A personal favourite, and widely used metaphor from ACT to help us to practice this idea gently and compassionately is The Struggle Switch.

The Struggle Switch

Imagine you have a struggle switch within you – like an old-fashioned radio dial which turns up and down from 0 – 10.

If you relate with the intro to this post, it’s likely that your dial (or “struggle switch”)  is currently stuck on 10; meaning that as a feeling comes along, you are immediately in struggle mode, and you automatically charge into all your best-known attempts to get rid. The fight is on, and your energy is in high demand.  This is what you will be working towards shifting.

To begin with, you might even sketch out your switch, or locate it in your body. It might be in your head or your heart or even your hands. Start to notice each time you experience a feeling – good or bad. But now also ask into yourself:

How willing am I to have this feeling?

Chances are, initially, the switch is up high, and the battle has begun. Offer yourself the invitation to turn down the switch just one or two notches.

Notice what that experience is like.

Continue to play with the idea of turning down the struggle just by a measure or two.

This may look different for everyone but within an ACT framework, it looks like:

There is no expectation to like or want the feeling as you start to open up to it. That’s not the goal – you are simply making space within you, allowing it to flow through, rather than fighting it away.

Notice the switch naturally creeping back up from time to time, and practice this idea of gently turning down the struggle, and opening up to the feeling.

Gradually you might come to picture and rate your switch each time you notice a feeling, and ask yourself: what’s practical here? Do I need to have the switch up or can I allow this feeling in and through?

This, my friends, is acceptance.