It’s not you, it’s your nervous system
Ever feel like you’re caught up in old patterns of thinking, feeling and doing with no clue how to escape? Here is a helpful analogy we use often in therapy:
It’s like your brain is wearing history coloured glasses.
Each of our lenses are entirely individual, based on our genetics, our family history, our culture, identity and experience of safety or danger in the world.
But our lenses are so familiar, so real to US (because we’ve never looked through any others) that it feels like they’re absolute reality – like we’re not wearing glasses at all.
This is the reason why you and someone else can both be present in the same situation, but remember and interpret it in entirely different ways.
The neuroscientific truth is that in any moment, your reality is made up both of what you see and experience in the present moment, AND is greatly influenced by how your brain was built (through relationships and experience).
When you’re calm and safe, you are much better able to use the here and now information (glasses off). But in times of stress, the balance tips significantly into using less of the now and more of the “what I learned before” (glasses on).
Its like your brain says “shucks, this seems like it might be risky, lets forget being open and integrated, and default to what saved us in similar situations in the past – JUST IN CASE”
And these response patterns are stored in your nervous system.
Remember the moral when understanding our nervous system responses is that even if it feels unhelpful and a problem, it will always make sense. At one time, your system thought it needed to respond this way to keep you safe – and chances are – it worked – because you’re here. So it will keep using that strategy until it receives (and feels) the clear message that it doesn’t need it anymore.
Getting to know the colour of your lenses can be a great place to start.
Get in touch for a free chat if you think nervous system therapy could help you untangle some old patterns.
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