PEOPLE AND RELATIONSHIPS

You can think of the way that your brain manages your bodily resources as your ‘body budget’ ~ some actions bring wealth and sustenance to your system and others use it up.

We have a fairly widespread understanding that connection to other humans is critical to the healthy development of a baby/ child’s brain. We talk less about the impact we have on each others’ systems into adulthood and across the lifespan.

👯‍♀️ Humans regulate other humans via safe relationships. When we connect with another (lover, child, friend, sports partner, pet!) our breath, heartbeats and movements often synchronise below conscious awareness.
👯‍♀️ Studies have shown that couples who describe being happy and satisfied together are both less likely to get sick, and if they do get sick, are more likely to recover.
👯‍♀️ Another human can literally affect your chemistry by smiling at you in the street, or sending you a loving message.
👯‍♀️ A loved one can sooth your nervous system simply with a look, word or touch when you’re in need of support.

😔 Conversely, a disapproving look or a raised eyebrow can instantly affect what happens to you at a nervous system level in the opposite direction.
😔 If you infer threat from another human your own body responds immediately with a cascade of chemicals through your system.
😔 many of the adverse experiences known to impact us most significantly involve an abuse of power by another human/s. We know that traumatic events are more likely to impact us severely if we lack supportive others.
😔People who are long term lonely sadly get more sick and die sooner.

Whether we like it or not, our body budget (and so our overall health) is completely and directly influenced by the actions of others. In return we influence them right back. Safe and loving relationships contribute significantly to our health and well-being at a level far deeper than we once understood. Being frightened and unhappy in relationships is tolerable in the short term but bad for our health in the long term.

People who make you feel good are very good for you. The benefits of your kindness is far reaching. Share all the love you can spare ♥️