Crying is a natural, (mostly) available, wonderful and (underused?) bodily function.


Do you cry much? Sadly, I think there is shame and insecurity attached to crying in our culture. I can recall times when the pain of holding back tears has been far worse than the pain driving them. Perhaps on some level we have grown up with an idea that crying is baby-ish or weak.

Well obviously there are no rules… we all have a unique and individual relationship with crying.

But if you are someone who often fights the urge to cry, consider the following:

💧 That urge to cry suggests you are present and open to your feelings, which is something that mightn’t always feel comfortable, but evidence tells us fairly unanimously, is valuable and important.

đź’§ A cry literally provides a pause for you to be with those feelings. And with that, offers important space for reflection and processing of stuff which needs your attention.

đź’§ Your tears shine a spotlight of attention on something important:

“in your pain you will find your values, and in your values, you will find pain”

đź’§ Crying can also really help to communicate a message to someone else, or just serve to foster connection in a relationship.

đź’§ On a physiological level, the act of crying activates the parasympathetic branch of the nervous system which allows rest and calm.

đź’§ Scientists have found traces of many hormones present in our tiny tears, not least those implicated in stress. A prominent theory for this is that crying is another way for the body to release stress/ complete the stress response.

Something to try?

One beautiful practice I often share in therapy is to acknowledge how our tears represent and celebrate important memories, relationships, feelings losses and experiences. To ignore them would be a crime, and to cry is to honor them.

Of course there is a limit to how much crying can feel therapeutic. Know too, that to share your tears is strong and brave, and something that I encourage you to do.