In psychology, and particularly attachment theory, the concept of “good enough” refers to a parent who best serves their developing child by being “enough” rather than perfect. I love this. While a child needs an attentive and loving parent, they also benefit from seeing the reality of life, the struggles, emotions and challenges in manageable amounts.
From a nervous system perspective, a person (child or adult) needs to feel safe to be able to engage effectively in the world. Without a sense of safety, it’s biologically and psychologically impossible to learn, love, laugh, achieve or progress and develop. But in these strange times, very few of us have the luxury of feeling completely 100% safe. We’re all facing similar threats as well as the individual things that jeopardise our sense of complete safety. Polyvagal Theory teaches us the concept of “safe enough.” Perhaps it’s rare at the best of times that we feel completely safe, but there are things we can do to help us to feel as safe as possible in order to maintain important connections and passions.
Safe enough
For me, being near the family, cooking and eating, being outside, having contact with my closest people and having slept well help me to feel safe enough atm, and for that I’m really grateful.
Then I thought… I think need to allow more enoughs in my life generally. Can you relate? Happy enough, clever enough, rich enough, kind enough, fit enough, strong enough. Enough enough 😊
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