Uncomfortable feelings like anxiety, sadness and anger generally get a pretty bad press. We’re not keen (understandably) so we often work hard to get rid of them when they show up.


Distract, avoid, drink, run, eat, sleep… whatever your chosen weapon of defense might be.

Taken on face value, negative emotions and their physical manifestations can all too easily create a sense of frustration. Maybe you feel like your body is letting you down, working against you by reacting this way repeatedly when you don’t want it.

But what if you could change this pattern with a simple re frame?

Feelings have a function. Our clever and loyal systems are communicating something important. Generally big feelings are saying that there is something that needs our attention. Something we care about. Or maybe we need a break, a rest or some support.


Your body is never the enemy.

It’s doing exactly what it THINKS you need in that moment. It’s stepping in to mobilize you.

Getting cross with it will often increase your activation and cause the intensity to last longer.

As an alternative, can you offer it a compassionate message:

“Thank you body
I know you’re standing up for me and working hard to protect me.
I’m so grateful for that.
We can have this feeling and we can learn something important from it.
We can breathe into it together
We’re safe”

This simple change is a big shift and it’s not always easy to employ in the heat of a big feeling. If you’re curious about this, look out for the next blog, with a description of an Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT) concept called The Struggle Switch, which might ease you into developing a more open stance towards feelings.